People who think that they are allies believe they deserve a reward for being an ally. You see it in every oppressed/minority group. I may not be a PoC, but I do experience this same problem myself in many ways. I suffer from depression, and my friends who help me through it think they deserve a fucking party for sitting with me while I'm really sad. No. You are my friend. You should do this because you want to, not for some kind of reward.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
The language of “I am doing good for others, I am wonderful” is far more palatable than “I have privilege, let me use my privilege and invest in shifting power structures”.